I will fake it until I make it!

All about the escapades and thoughts of a girl who thinks WAY too much for her own good!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

For Stephen

If you were still here I could share with you all the insignificant things that only you and I would understand and appreciate.

If you were still here I could tell you how sorry I was for being so judgmental when we were married.

If you were still here I could wish you happy birthday, on this day, which would have been your 40th.

But you are not still here.

You left this life 1 year, 5 months, and 18 days ago.

You left this life before I could forgive you.

You left this life before we could be true friends again.

Today, I say to you what I said to you on our six year wedding anniversary when we did not know if we would stay married.

Today, I say to you what I whispered in your ear when you were dying.

Today, I say to you what I think to myself every time I become overwhelmed by your death.

Stephen, my heart is always with you.

But today I also add, I forgive you and thank you for all you have taught me.

4 comments:

  1. This is beautiful Val and brought tears to my eyes. You are an amazingly strong person and express yourself so well. I am thinking of you and everything you've been through. I love you!

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  2. Oh val, I just read this after being away and it to brought tears to my eyes. Forgiveness is so beautiful, because it sets your heart free. I for one, am so glad you now have an open heart. xoxox

    Sherrie

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  3. Wow, so beautifully said and poignant. Really wonderful.

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  4. Val - I don't know where I have been to have missed this! You are so strong and amazing and wonderful, and I am so glad to hear you have made it to such a milestone. Your soul searching is clearly paying off and is a lesson to the rest of us. Love you!

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