I will fake it until I make it!

All about the escapades and thoughts of a girl who thinks WAY too much for her own good!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

For Stephen

If you were still here I could share with you all the insignificant things that only you and I would understand and appreciate.

If you were still here I could tell you how sorry I was for being so judgmental when we were married.

If you were still here I could wish you happy birthday, on this day, which would have been your 40th.

But you are not still here.

You left this life 1 year, 5 months, and 18 days ago.

You left this life before I could forgive you.

You left this life before we could be true friends again.

Today, I say to you what I said to you on our six year wedding anniversary when we did not know if we would stay married.

Today, I say to you what I whispered in your ear when you were dying.

Today, I say to you what I think to myself every time I become overwhelmed by your death.

Stephen, my heart is always with you.

But today I also add, I forgive you and thank you for all you have taught me.


  1. This is beautiful Val and brought tears to my eyes. You are an amazingly strong person and express yourself so well. I am thinking of you and everything you've been through. I love you!

  2. Oh val, I just read this after being away and it to brought tears to my eyes. Forgiveness is so beautiful, because it sets your heart free. I for one, am so glad you now have an open heart. xoxox


  3. Wow, so beautifully said and poignant. Really wonderful.

  4. Val - I don't know where I have been to have missed this! You are so strong and amazing and wonderful, and I am so glad to hear you have made it to such a milestone. Your soul searching is clearly paying off and is a lesson to the rest of us. Love you!