I will fake it until I make it!

All about the escapades and thoughts of a girl who thinks WAY too much for her own good!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

95% of All Italian Men Cheat!

Yep, 95%! At least that’s what I’ve been told REPEATEDLY by Italian men. The first time I heard it, I blew it off with my usual, “yeah, right” response. By the fifth time I heard it I was mumbling, “What, what, wha…” in high-pitched confusion, like my Aunt J from Bean Town.

How could this possibly be true? NINTY-FIVE PERCENT of the Italian male population cheats? I was astounded. The Italian guys sharing this statistic were also astounded… astounded that I actually thought the rate was not that high in the U.S. “No, it’s the same everywhere,” they would say, “You just don't know about it.”

A quiet and defeated “ugh,” came from the back of my throat. Could this possibly be true?

“It’s a good thing,” these Italian men try to convince me. “How? How could a 95% cheating rate possibly be a good thing?” I ask, almost begging for enlightenment.

The compilation of answers is actually interesting. But before I get to sharing them with you, there are some things you need to understand about Italian men first.

In many ways, Italian men are in NO WAYS like men from the U.S. For instance, even with a casual hook up Italian men will treat the women like they are seriously dating. They will “make love” to them on the first night, spouting lines and making moves that rival the best movie scenes ever filmed. They will ask them to sleep over, to snuggle all night, to walk the dog with them in the morning, and they’ll spend the entire next day with them. When you hair is ragged and your makeup is a memory of what it was the night before an Italian man will make you feel like you are the most beautiful woman in the world. But what you have to remember is they will do the exact same thing with the next random girl they hook up with the very next night. Italian men believe in “taking care” of their women; even the hookups or the ones on the side.

Okay so back to the noted reasons why; I don't know how else to share these with you other than in a bulleted list, so I have ranked them in order of my favorites, the first one being my absolute favorite reason.

• It’s just what we do. It’s expected of Italian men.

• It keeps us interested in sex with our own partners.

• It keeps things fresh because you’re not having the same old sex all the time. (Same as before just said a little differently)

• As long as we are treating our wives and families properly (and they dont know about it) where’s the harm?

• If we had kids I would stop cheating for a while until they grew up.

• My wife and I are only staying together for the children. Don’t I deserve to have some happiness in my life?

The thing is I believe these guys actually believe this stuff. And maybe it’s because of the different culture here, but these reasons are starting to make sense to me too. Oh my god! I’m going to have to turn in my girl card soon! I mean, I still don't wish it upon anyone, but it was becoming more and more difficult for me to have an intellectual argument against this, you know, other than blurting out, “it’s just WRONG!”

That is, until I started assuming the same rules applied to women. I mean, it’s that whole goose and gander thing, right? As a woman shouldn’t I be able to keep things “fresh” in the bedroom too? Don't I “deserve” happiness as well?

And that’s when I think every Italian man in the country stopped what they were doing, raised a quick ear to the wind and let out their own quiet huff of disgust in response to my clearly American supposition that women had these same cheating privileges. “What? Women don't need to cheat on Italian men,” I’m told in response, “And if they do it’s rare and not really acceptable.”

“Ahhhhh… of course not,” I say feeling like I’m back on solid ground again. And then I think, God bless America (and Canada too… love you N). Let the arguments begin!

153 comments:

  1. It's called managing expectations. It's wrong. You know it (and they know it too).

    ReplyDelete
  2. My husband looked over my shoulder tonight as I was reading this. He told me he wanted to move to Italy too. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. laughed out loud (and no I am not going to write lol... crap i just did) my fav blog.

    Old world... that is all i can say... old world rules.

    Movie reference: Goodfellas

    Pammy

    ReplyDelete
  4. Line reference from Goodfellas

    "Kaaaaaaaaareeeeeennnnnnnn"

    ReplyDelete
  5. I find it hard to believe that 95% of Italian men are: A) married or in a committed relationship.
    B) assuming the above, good looking enough to actually find someone to cheat with!

    I saw more than a few butt ugly Italian guys when I was there !!! I'm sure they represent more than 5% of the male population.

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. this is hilarious Val. your description of how they handle a casual hook up sounds all too familiar.. did we have a discussion about this?? it is dead on my experience.. from the cuddling to the dog walking.. haha!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. well hell i would take a one night stand like that over half the men in my town.. sounds like the best one night stand EVER to me..just saying

      Delete
    2. hey guys, had a similar experience with an Italian guy. Interesting what you said about casual hookups and how italian men deal with them. I'm English and we destinguish between hookups and actual dating massively. In our culture behaving that way with a hookup can be seen as being dishonest and leading someone on.

      Delete
    3. They stay too long at home probably practicing as with their sick mother's and spend the rest of the time cheating cause they hate and resent women as though they were their mother

      Delete
  7. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  8. All Italian men should come with a warning label..we expect them to act like men who have evolved into Homosapiens of the 21st century but they can only driven by their primordal desire to procreate and flee (due to their high levels of testosterone) They are master con-men and liars who put their own needs and selfish desires ahead of all else. There is nothing genuine about their behaviour is is all an act..superficial and they will drop you and their offspring at a whim. If an Italian was married to Angelina Jolie herself they would still cheat with the frumpy cleaner or underage nanny. It is a GIVEN!
    God help you if you are blonde and marry into an Italian family-the women will eat you alive!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. loved your comment and I am blond and born into an italian family and they still give me crap being the only blond child in a sea of black and brown lol thank God I have chosen to date out side my ethnicity and avoided the Guido mentality

      Delete
    2. I'm an italian guy living in the UK. I'vE never cheated in my life.women like you and the author of this crap post make me feel ashamed of belonging to human kind.

      Delete
    3. Fina, that is very true. I was engaged to an italian jerk for 2years and stayed loyal to him until I found out he had 5 other women on the side(back and front). To make matters worse the last words we exchanged were "fuck off asshole" and "there's many girls on the market" (these were his).
      I cannot agree more with the posts I see here. Italian men have no remorse. They treat all women (married, single, attached, older, younger, human or not) as fair game. They have absolutely fragile egos that need to be stroked more than your pet cat needs petting. I felt a load was lifted off my back when we broke up in Thailand last week. I left him there with nothing but his black underwear when I went straight to the airport. Now, I feel so happy and relieved that a great burden has been eradicated from my life.

      Delete
    4. yes italian men are cheaters, young or old are both the same, especially in long distance relation, you can't find him online even if he is online...why? because he is chatting other women...different women in different country...they want to be respected by they don't respect women as they cheat and fool others...they feel themselves as a superior and the one has the voice in a relation...wake up girls if you have italian man make sure you know him so well most of them have many sidelines...the way they talk is very romantic as if you are the only women in the world for him but same line was used to other women...maybe not all italian men cheats but most of them because it's their nature.

      Delete
    5. Wow this has been very enlightening.

      Delete
  9. Reading this is making me quite warey, i'm seeing an Italian boy who's 15 but he seems so genuine. I have only started looking up about Italians and stuff since i met him because i was curious about him, i had heard they cheat a lot and that, but i didnt believe it until now.. He said he would never cheat on me, hurt me, or hit me or anything of the kind, he seems so different to the rest, now i'm not so sure</3

    ReplyDelete
  10. I have dated and lived with an Italian man. And all I have to say is... easy come, easy go.

    Everyone was warning me from the beginning, but I led myself to believe that he would be alright. Besides, I wasn't looking for anything serious anyhow. As time went on though, I started to realize what a damn cheating bastard he was. The most disappointing thing is that they do it for recreational purposes, and they don't admit to doing it. At least be a man and admit it when I ask you.

    Honestly I wasn't even as upset as I was disappointed. I have never seen him or his friends openly cheat or try to pick up other women, but I always deep inside that things weren't right. All types of women simply enjoyed being around him, his standoff behavior with me around other people. I was upset that I even introduced him to my friends.

    I feel like as a friend, my Italian man is great! He is fun loving, exciting and out-going. But as a boyfriend, much less a husband, I don't believe (after my experience) that I would ever want to marry an Italian man. It's simply too heavy of a burden on my conscious.

    As a well seasoned traveler, I've met people from all over the world. And the vast majority of women from all over the world can agree: Italian men are cheaters....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I totally agree with you. Italian men are cheaters. I dated one for 3 years, and ended up cheating on me on our last months together.

      Delete
    2. yes!!!! i dated and lived with one for 5years, and when he went back to italy he found already new girlfriend after 2weeks from our break up. And didnt want to admit it. disguisting. promising big love forever, but clearly forgot abt me very quickly. im still recovering

      Delete
  11. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  12. OMG I wish i had reas this blog this time last year.... I have spent the last year wasting my time with a cheating lying italian.....
    Italians are great for a fling but NEVER NEVER a serious relationdhip..... they are TROUBLE and they charm u wine and dine u and then fuck u over and lie and lie and ruin ur life....
    PLease anyone starting off a seroius relationship with an Italian..... be cautious!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My best fiend who is Italaian always wanred me about my Italian boyfriend- be careful, all Italian men are the same. They cheat and lie. I never listened to her. I thought that he really is the one for me. We were living together for 3 years. Never ever I was with a guy who told me every moring how beautiful I am and how much he loves me and how proud he is to be with a girl like me. Just last week when I came back from holidays I found out that he was going to prostitutes and God knows where else. When I confronted him he swore on his mothers life that he never did that. That he would never in his life cheat on me. I did'nt believe cause I had proof and later on he admitted that he was cheating. I still cannot believe that I fell for a man like that.

      Delete
  13. Italians are great in making u feel like the ONE! when in reality u may be one of many.. they have a way of boosting ur confidence at the beginning making u feel that u are beautiful all the time.... but that washes off when u realise exactly what they are like.,... cheating liars! I fell hard and seem to cshose the wrong men over and over again but they are nice men out there... Just keep the head up!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MY American Italian never makes me feel like I am number one, he always puts his mother first. She is the root to all of our problems and I can not wait till he is finally mine.

      Delete
  14. I came teary when I read these posts...reminded of how I caught my ex-bf (italian) cheating on me.

    He denied it, until I think he realized how attached he was to me. When he crawled back admitting the cheating, he actually said it was ok because it was revenge for when I cheated (I NEVER did...because it doesn't excite me, it scares me, it would hurt myself). What was more disturbing was that he EXPECTED me to return to him. WTF?

    Talk about complete disrespect for my choice in relationships (by keep it secret, he is usurping my ability to decide to end the relationship). Talk about a profound disrespect for my humanity...as if we weren't equals--his double-standards for gender. As if I had to be submissive and accept his flaws because "no one's perfect," and "you have flaws too." Oh yea bitch, but at least I'm honest about them and considerate of others!! I will sacrifice myself for the benefit of others, but he will not. He is more stubborn and unmovable than Mt. Vesuvius. I pray that he finally understands that to truly live life beautifully, you cannot cheat and hide. He is only hurting himself...and he's an utter fool to not realize it. It's the existential exciting chase that dies as each moment passes, only to look for the next pursuit. Addictive behavior never ends happily...

    ReplyDelete
  15. Yes. Been there, done that with a half Italian, half American man. His dad was Italian. I was hoping that the American side would come through but he did cheat. He made me feel like I was the "ONLY" one the whole time, he "NEVER" wanted anyone else, but my gut kept telling me something was wrong. He lied until the end and when I finally found out about the other girl, he still tried to lie. Then, he tried to blame me for it, making me an emotional wreck. I will not date another Italian guy after him. I've never met a bigger liar in my life, the lies he told to her and me were outrageous. I actually finally got to talk to the other girl and it was enlightening to say the least. A sad story all around and I know that he will just do it again. His dad probably cheated on his mom, let's just say, I wouldn't be surprised if this behavior runs in his family, his dad's side. It was a painful experience. It's just finally over and I'm finding it so difficult to get over the lies and deception.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I am dating an Italian-American man (he was born here, but his father was from Italy). He makes me feel beautiful and I love that about him. However, he has distorted views on relationships as he thinks it is okay if he goes out without me, but if I go somewhere without him that is wrong - especially a bar, but he goes at least once a week without me.

    He swears I am the only one and that he does not cheat, after reading all of these comments I am not so sure.

    I will say, he definitely has the idea that if he wants to do something without me that's okay but I cannot do anything without him unless I first check with him and if he says no, I had better not.

    He says if I want to be an Italian man's woman that I have to abide by his rules.

    I did not know there were rules for dating an italian man.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I was swept off of my feet by a beautiful Italian man. I knew as soon as his green eyes literally glowing when he saw me that I was in trouble. He courted me, romanced me, & our sex life was off the charts. We saw each other on a regular basis, every two-three weeks, which was always fine by me, because I'm a single-mom, career woman, I travel, & spend time with friends. I knew he wasn't relationship material. What could be better than having a hot Italian lover, I thought...

    He always contacted me. I just figured it was part of his courting process & I let him be the man. That wasn't necessarily easy for me since I'm French and a Scorpio. Lol. However, I let him take me over. He's like a drug & makes sure that I have several orgasms. Something other men could never do.

    When he comes to see me, he always stayed 7-10 hours. He was with me on his birthday & he was with me on my birthday. I thought it was all good until he said, "Do me a favor...let me text you." I had text him only a couple of times in the year we've been seeing each other. Naturally, that became a red flag. He always told me that he was single. I checked in with him several times & the answer was always the same.

    I googled his name & there it all was...he was certainly married. I confronted him with what I learned and he acted like it wasn't a big deal at all. No remorse what so ever. I tried to end the relationship about four times and each time, he was more charming, persistent, & had no intention of letting me go.

    I began reading blogs like these (thank you) and was very surprised to learn that most Italian men do keep a mistress. I thought that was only in the movies. So, he definitely makes sure that he "takes care" of me, but only in a sexual way. I get surprised when he wants to see me on special occasions, but I guess he's trying to make sure that he holds on to me...

    ReplyDelete
  18. after my exp wz an italian man yes i agree 100% unfortunatly

    ReplyDelete
  19. Jesus, I wish I had seen this 3 months ago. It explains everything. And, yes, they behave the same way stateside as they do in Italy. This one wasn't the typical mamma's boy we all hear about, but, everything in the original post about the hypothetical hook-up describes him to a "T".

    And, this, from one of the commenters:"All Italian men should come with a warning label..we expect them to act like men who have evolved into Homosapiens of the 21st century but they can only driven by their primordial desire to procreate and flee (due to their high levels of testosterone)"

    The next time I see this dude, I'm going to tattoo a warning label on his forehead, or his d***.

    ReplyDelete
  20. This post seems quite the sweeping generalization, never mind the posts that go along with it. I've been living in Italy for 5 years and have numerous Italian male friends. Italian men I know cheat when they don't care about the woman they are currently with. I've seen many of them 'change' (AKA, become 'whipped') when with a woman they worship and adore. A woman I dare say, loves them less than he loves her. So many of my Italian male friends talk about their cheating, but then, one by one, they go off on new relationships and you never see them again. On the rare chance you do, 'mai tradito' is something I often hear. Or, the gossip around them has stopped. Certainly not all men are 100% faithful, but Italian men aren't some oddity. Also, I wonder about these so-called "relationships" ex-pat women especially get into. When you barely have a grasp on the language and you meet your "man" after 5 gin lemons or more, I doubt the sincerity of validity of any 'relationship' stemming from the token 'American girl meets suave smooth talker on the street.' I've found most 'street relationships' never last for the aforementioned reasons. Meet someone whilst buying a gelato? Is he Italian or Albanian? Do you even know? And why is he chatting you up anyway? because you are an obvious foreigner. easy prey. Meet the hottie after dancing in the club? Yeah, he's met many other women that way too. Be smart. Meet men through friends, men that have good reputations from female friends and males.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Anonymous from Jan. 10th. Although I agree with you that what I have written is a sweeping generalization, you realize that a BLOG is a personal account of feelings and experiences, so I think it safe to say that my experiences - having only lived in Italy for 10 months - and your experiences - having lived in Italy for five years - would indeed be different. But that's the beauty of being human, we all have our own perceptions of life and they are all valid.

      So let me say for the record, I do not really believe that 95% of Italian Men Cheat.

      Delete
    2. to anon from jan 10. 2013

      anyone who would describe a man who doesn't cheat as being whipped is a deeply broken human being.
      i suggest therapy.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous of Jan10
      Yes.. generalizations are exactly that, generalizations.
      But this post is quite accurate. I lived in Italy for 5 years and taught English to the working profession. Over the years I had hundreds of (mostly male, obviously Italian) students & I was really shocked at the amount of proposals I got. I made it clear I was an uninterested, married woman. So this means I wasn't hanging out on the streets or in clubs looking for this sort of attention. Besides the fact it was a very professional environment!

      But infidelity is such an open thing there. It's not even shocking or done in secret. When I'd inquire how they could do such a thing considering that they too were married or had a significant other, it was like nothing. And shockingly the one who pursued me the most was known in his company as the 'most decent guy' who refused to even talk to or hang out with the other guys who'd brag about their one night stands and/or flings.
      It really is unbelievable & I certainly wasn't used to such a haphazard attitude when it came to cheating, because they just don't see eat as "cheating" "betrayal" "disloyal." They just see it as "l'amore."

      Surely, not ALL Italian men are like that, but watch out, it runs strong in their culture, upbringing and dare I say blood?

      And having said that, I could totally see how anyone could get charmed & swept off their feet by them, because as many have said, they are damn good!

      Delete
  21. This post is all so true! I'm an American living in Italy right now with an Italian man. The thing is, Italian men think they have rights . . . more rights than we as women do. My boyfriend loves me very much, but has cheated, and if I were to stay with him will cheat for the rest of our time together as a couple. However, his jealousy of me when I so much as talk to another man is suffocating. Needless to say, although I love him, I love me more. I'm coming home in February.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good for you! More power and more blessings to you. I know how it feels and i've endured 2years with a cheating, ugly, overweight, unsuccessful Italian man who never even apologized for cheating on me. Yes, love yourself ans choose your wellbeing over a selfish toad.

      Delete
  22. Why am I even writing as I am going to repeat the same what you have all already written. Same experience, no exception. "I have only eyes for you", "You are the only one", and then he goes on to having his affairs. When confronted, he never admits. He makes me feel like an idiot by arguing that what I am seeing is white and not black. And he even goes a step further, he gets offended that I do not trust him. This man cannot apologize about anything. If he's done something wrong, he would either remind me that I've done something wrong too or that it is not a big deal, because at the end of the day "he is a good man and he cannot be perfect, but he loves me so much, and look at me, the victim, I am such a nice guy, and you are still unhappy". And of course, the minute a guy shows interest in me, he glues next to me like a chewing gum so that I cannot talk to any other man alone. They can, but we... we should keep quiet, smile, love them and accept them as their mama does, and don't even dare thinking of another man. I almost married that guy. Good God, I didn't. Run, ladies, while you can! I

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow! Same experience here dating an Italian man in China for a year. Same sort of explanations. Really it is shocking how quick they switch and the stories they come up with about you that aren't even true to distract you from and hide the fact that they were misbehaving. Maybe these are generalizations, and maybe there are men like this from many cultures, but my experience dating an Italian man was much different from any other nationality ....in the positive and the bad. Let me tell you, although the good is great when it is there, they just aren't good enough to make up for the rollercoaster of bad things you will go through.

      Delete
  23. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  24. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry I took so long to see this. I simply typed his name into google and his LinkedIn profile came up (which told me nothing, but work), but his wedding registry was online as he was only married 7 months before seeing me for over 1.5 years. There was also an obituary for his wife's father, which had his name in it. You can find out many things by googling someone's name. If you have a picture of him, you can also drag & drop his picture into Google images and it will show you what other sites the picture is on. I found several things that I wasn't looking for & hoped I wouldn't find: their anniversary, kids, wife's name, etc. I run a background check on everyone now before I consider dating them. Lol

      Delete
  25. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Fun post, but I too have to disagree. Anonymous from 10 Feb had some good insights. A lot depends on WHERE and HOW you meet this Italian man. I have lived in Italy for 7 and a half years, and know that the kind of man (Italian or no) who preys on foreigners wants a fast, no-strings relationship (or lack thereof) and this is unfortunately the kind of man most young expat womenor tourists in Italy encounter (at least in the first few years). I felt the same way after my first year here, and said to a fun older American friend of my mon's (who had been married and divorced from an Italo-American): "I think 99% percent of Italian men cheat." She looked me dead in the eye and said, "99? Honey, it's 100!" So funny! But I do think she's wrong.
    Yes it's true that many of your commenters agree with you, but so many of them write they were looking for a fling themselves. Well? That's what they got. (Also it seems that most of them were with Italian Americans? THere's a difference there)
    After 5 years in Italy, a lot of that time looking for (and getting)flings myself, I finally admitted to myself that I wanted something real. And (as corny as this sounds) as if by magic, an amazing man appeared (yes he is Italian). I knew after a few months he was the man for me, and we've been married for 9 months. I know for a fact he will never cheat on me, it's just not in his nature, regardless of his nationality. And I have so many girlfriends married to wonderful Italian men, or in serious relationships with them, and although you can never be sure when you are not the one in the relationship, I would be shocked to hear that any of them had cheated. Not one of them met these men at pub crawls or on the street, not surprisingly.
    I think that a lot of men across the board cheat, and women too, maybe Italians just get caught more! There are a lot of men in this country, and to paint them all with the same brush is unfair, even if yes, some do follow patterns that are hard to ignore. I guess my point is, each man is different and their nationality (in my opinion) has very little to do with whether they will cheat or not. I think those Italian guys that claim (boast?) that 95% of them cheat are just trying to justify their own bad behavior. But at the end of the day, they know what they are doing is wrong.
    Anyway, I love your blog! Keep up the good work!
    One last thing and then I'll shut up: I think the newer generation of Italian men is very different from the last. I know so many young Italian men who clean, cook, do laundry and support their wives' careers and freedoms. That archaic attitude of double standards seems to be dying out, at least in the major cities. I can't vouch for Sicily! Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Now that I read this post I don't feel as bad about what transgress between a naive 23 year old and a 39 year old Sicilian business man who was the president of an olive oil company. Like you mention they will treat you like a goddess feed you tiramisu and caress you're body after sex, take you to the best restaurants in the city and make you feel as if you are truly special. But it's all an act the man didn't even respect me enough to keep he eyes on me when we went out he would even turn around and look at the other women around us as if I wasn't next to him. The woman didn't even have to be attractive he stare her down like a piece of meat, and it hurt because I loved him I DIDNT CARE ABOUT GOING OUT TO ANYWHERE SPECIAL, I was happy being around him he's like a drug, a high. This all came to an end and although it hurts I believe things happened for a reason and God has something better for me!-G.

    ReplyDelete
  28. us italians have to cheat its in the blood

    ReplyDelete
  29. Had dated with the italian guy for a couple of months. The cleverest liar on earth. Either he would be sex addict or definitely suffer from affection deficit disorder. For them, women are just like a piece of meat to taste. Outrageous and pathetic. If you're dating with an Italian guy whether he's married or not, you'll already have your gut feelings telling you that something's wrong. Is he worth your time and energy? Of course he'll dine you, wine you and treat you like the most beautiful woman in the world. For italian cheaters, 'the other woman' is just the food for them to taste. The other woman feeds the cheater but he'll feed their 'family.' Italians are good with women so there're higher chances that more cheaters will be found as Italians.

    ReplyDelete
  30. It's not just Italian men but Italian women ALSO!! The story is always the same - you are the love of their life one minute and then they can be in bed with somebody else the next. They fall in and out of love as easily as they cross the street. They seem to think that every day in a relationship should be a passionate encounter. if it's not, then they are off to get some. VERY high maintenance to be in a relationship with an Italian but it's interesting in the short term. I would never recommened marrying one though.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I myself recently dated an Italian man... I met him in a well known dating site, and everything stated on this blog in regards to Italian men holds true! Treat you like your a queen, compliment you... The whole nine yards! They definetly have it down to a science. Very persuasive and believable. And as stated they drop u in an instant and move on to the next unsuspecting woman. It's disgusting and pathetic. That's not a man... That's and inconsiderate A******! Although we can't just believe that 95% of Italians cheat and American men don't! Because they do! however Italian men have admitted to cheating because it's in their blood and socially acceptable in their country! I don't believe it should be accepted anywhere! It's just not right.... If ur a cheater.. Admit your looking for no strings attached and let the woman choose wether or not she wants to be involved with him.... But for god sakes, a man should not mislead a woman making her think he wants a serious relationship and sick her in only to break her heart!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This Italian you met wasn't by any chance on the interracial dating site. I am seeing this guy and I am beginning to feel something is not right with him.

      Delete
  32. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Plenty of fish user to the point "Gigglo" is a nice word!!! Numerous women everyday all the time! TERRIBLE!

      Delete
    2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

      Delete
    3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

      Delete
    4. Who ever the original anonymous woman is I feel sorry for you. To love this man is awful. I met him on POF and he plays a great game! Nice looking and all but if you watch him he is a player! Girlfriend you deserve better!

      Delete
  33. This is very true! I've lived in Italy for almost a decade, and my ex-girlfriend is Italian. We broke up because I got cold feet, then tried to get her back! She rejected me and is currently seeing a married Italian man. She would not have done this had he not promised her something, like he would leave his wife one day. Yet they sneak around to see each other and he still wears his wedding ring. I think we all know what that means! She rejected me for this! Italian men really are some cheating dogs!

    ReplyDelete
  34. All I can say is WOW!! Ive been the wife of an (American) full-blooded Italiian for 31 years and am about to divorce him. He romanced the woman accross the street, at the same time swearing how he couldn't live without me, and yes- our sex life got crazy and constant then, he loved having a secret side lover! And OMG the lying, such whoppers to me and her too that I believed them at first. Then I found my brain finally.
    He tricked myself and her for three years! Its hard to walk away even tho you know you're being a fool. Im so glad I found this forum, I had no idea its a syndrome, but thats no excuse! What a jerk, he lost his family to chase a bunch of random women for the rest of his life

    ReplyDelete
  35. In this day and age it's socially acceptable to have 'open' relationships if that's what you choose - we're all grown-ups. Personally I have never been in one, nor would I choose to.

    I think what is deeply distasteful in all of these tales of Misogyny - let's call it what it is - is that Misrepresenting reality to a person who shares intimacy with you is not only an unfair exchange - it is mental cruelty.

    Only a masochist would sign-up to be a Mistress, reduced to the status of sex provider, and not having any of their human needs for love and respect met. But to get a woman to this point where she accepts to be treated so badly, Italian men misrepresent reality to the victim as if this was a talent or a virtue - they claim to love them (they don't or they would not be Using them) - they claim they are the centre of the universe (and then go home to their wife and children) - they elevate their 'right' to sex above the rights of another human being to not be abused. If it was happening to a child we would call it Grooming. The tacit message to the Mistress - Be weak, be vulnerable, be an object, you are not safe, women are not safe, life has nothing to offer you, so you may as well take what you can get from me.

    It is emotionally disorientating to be loving someone, and believe yourself loved in return, only to find that they misrepresented reality to you; that they have a Wife. What do you do then? Renege on your own (valid and real) love and all the energy of life you have invested? Or hang in there hoping that the person who inflicted this Deep-as-Life pain, will make it all better again, and love you back for real?

    They think they are clever, getting something for nothing. It is not cleverness it is sociopathy and results in an entire society where no-one really takes ownership or responsibility for deeper emotions. What is going on in the head of the child who knows his father cheats? Who sees his daddy going after the waitress? It teaches them that their whole world is an artifice; their mother and father are not united but opportunists using each other to create a facade or a veneer of respectability. It is an infantilized society as a result, I have honestly met more emotionally amputated Italians than any other nationality; by that I mean they do not forge the connection between emotional love and physical demonstrativeness. I would not choose to live in a culture where the women are so beaten down that the grandmothers are telling their children it is just part of life. It does not have to be - and it is NOT OK to treat the feelings of others - and your own - with such Levity.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This was an amazingly well put comment and I thank you for taking the time and writing it.

      Delete
  36. I'd like to return the compliment, Val - your blog is cerebral, courageously expressed and thought-provoking. Warm thanks : )

    ReplyDelete
  37. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Italian men are amazing! I was just there for 2 weeks, the South coast - Amalfi, Capri, Positano, Rome...I don't know if they're cheaters, but for a vacay...it's quite the trip! I didn't read much into it and had a fabulous time as a blond with blue-green eyes. I keep in touch with one, but it's more a fantasy...with the language barrier and my career here in Canada, the chance of anything more is slim. If you're looking for a summer romance...go to Italy, you won't regret it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes! I totally agree! You get treated very well with no strings attached (and what the hell, if they are married anyways, why would I want to be attached :) . If you are an emotionally healthy girl with a healthy sexual appetite.... what FUN!!

      Delete
  39. Yes, it is common knowledge and widely accepted that cheating for males has become part of the culture. What is worse is that if the girl he is cheating with gets pregnant than normally the Italian male will leave the first wife to marry another and have a second family. This is really damaging for the children especially girls because they are left wondering why their Dad has left replacing them and their families and why it is all so broken. Today more people are having kids out of marriage, which is to each their own, until you consider that for the women, normally here in Italy, they live in a separate apartment, pay for all the child's needs, and for the Dad who is transparent, he can keep running around continuing his 'swinger' lifestyle while the Mother raises the child 'da sola'. The Dad will only come around for his children every so often when he feels like it. Empty promises. Moreover, families who can afford to send their daughters to private English schools reinforce that the Italian girls should find and marry a western man (US or British) and 'get out of Italy.' Even Berlusconi, the former prime minister recommended for the Italian youth to leave Italy and find work else where. It is not just cheating, there are many problems. While Italy maybe charming, and while cheating men try to put on a 'bella figura' and treat women the morning after with care, in reality men have been raised to care only about them selves and their mothers. (I live and work in Rome, Italy) I recommend for anyone interested in a cultural lesson and a good example of Italian cheating behavior to watch the film Big Night with Minnie Driver & Stanley Tucci, a great performance of a situation that one could find herself in.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Wow, interesting post and fun read, but this is terrible news! Where are the comments with stories of faithful Italian men? There was only 1 or 2 in this whole bunch...

    Nora Ephron, who recently passed away, has a famous quote, she said, "Secret to Life, marry an Italian." She obviously drank the kool-aid, and she was a smart lady. I think there must be good ones out there too. Perhaps only people who have had negative experiences with Italian men search for and comment on this type of topic?

    ReplyDelete
  41. I was on the verge of suicide when I met my Italian alpha male. It was through a dating website that some friends had stuck me on as a kind joke (they knew I'd been single for a decade and wasn't going to make my own first move). We spoke on skype- he completely mesmerised me and we met for the first time on Christmas Eve. The three days we spent together were the best three days of my life- Italian men really do take care of their women physically. But after those three days when Christmas was over, I was history. The supreme irony is that literally no-body does it better- and it doesn't matter who I date from now on (and as a lady the same age as Madonna there might not be too many good years in me)- it'll never quite be the same.

    Thankyou for the blog, Val- comforting to know I'm not unique

    ReplyDelete
  42. ITALIAN MEN ARE THE WORST CHEATERS AND LIARS IN THE WORLD!!!I will never date an Italian man again! I met an Italian man ( half Italian, half Romanian) on a dating site. I planned to move to his country before we met. He promised me marrige, a ring and many children. He talked about starting business together. He promised me to show me all the beatuful places in the area, and yes it was this " I want to make love to you" talking long time before we even met. We kept in touch and after some months when I was really exited and moved he didn`t help me with anything he promised ( for example the apartment). He didn`t even wanted to meet me as I finally had arrived. He made stupid exuces just to make me angry, and later he blamed it on me and told me everything was my fault. After some months I had enough and moved back to my country. Then he got angry and now after a while I found out he has been cheating on me. I`ve met many other Italian men too, and even if they are not as crazy as this guy it`s pretty much the same shit: They promise you much, the want " to make love" and do " many kisses". It`s all crap and LOTS, LOTS of lies.They don`t respect women!Only if they want sex, they promise you marrige and children. They don`t want to settle down even if they have passed 35: they always have their mummies! So for me : NEVER EITHER ITALIAN OR ROMANIAN MEN!!!

    ReplyDelete
  43. Wow this blog is an interesting read. I met an Itailian guy in Canada where I live. He's 100% Italian and lived in Canada since he was little. I am 27 and he is 44 so he is 17 years older than me and was married for 10 years to a woman who tried to kill him with poison to take his money and life insurance, so crazy (she is now in jail) ! I have known him for 2 years and he's a sweetheart. I fell in love with him (head over heels) from the start, but he did not seem to want a relationship, understandably he has problems trusting women. We would always meet at my house, sometimes 3 weeks or even a few months would go by without seeing each other. He told me he lives at home with his mom (typical italian mamas boy lol) as she is sick and he takes care of her. I spoke to my friend about everything and they convinced me he must have a wife and kids at home, I'm just the woman on the side. I told him that and he denied it. He texted me at Christmas and wanted to see me, it didn't end up happening and more time passed, we texted each other to see how one another is doing from time to time, then a few nights ago we met up again and he actually brought me to his home. Yes mama lives upstairs, so funny talking to her puppy with a deep Italian accent lol, he says "see, there are no wife and kids", so I believe him now. He is by far the best lover I have ever been with and makes me feel so sexy! I'm not sure where things will go for us, I would love to be with him but I guess I will still have to keep my guards up a bit still, as who knows if he has true feelings for me or if he just needs to get laid once in awhile. His friend says I need to take it slow as he has woman issues still because if what his ex did to him. That's understandable, and I am willing to wait and be patient, I love the quote above "the secret to life, marry an Italian" lol I honestly do not believe that all Italian men are liars and cheaters, I'm sure a lot are, but there's got to be some good guys out there too. I am not going to get my hopes up too high, or have expectations with this man, I will just wait and see how things go and hope for the best as he amazes me like no other, so sexy I guess I can relate to the drug thing, I am still on a high from seeing him 2 nights ago ! He's a very hard worker and so responsible and manly. He inspires me to be a better woman too, so even if we end up together or not, I still feel like I get good energy from him as the better woman and person he inspires me to be.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ask for his home phone number. If he doesn't give it or makes an excuse like, he only uses a cell and doesn't have a home phone, then forget him, he will be more heart ache than he is worth.

      Delete
    2. It doesn't matter if he gives you his home number or not. He can still be cheating on you either way. This sounds very much like my situation. I was 20, he was 33, it lasted for 5 years but it was just 5 years of him cheating on me. I knew it but was too weak to leave him. And I know I can get any man I want, I'm not ugly, and I've got a lot going for me but I was just too weak to leave. I clearly have issues loving myself. Point of my story though is that he can still be cheating on you... and honestly, after the stuff I've learned working in a male-dominated environment at my job, he probably IS cheating on you. He would make an attempt to see you every day and keep in touch every day if he wasn't cheating on you. Plus if he goes out without you to bars and clubs, he's cheating on you too. Bars/Clubs are not a place for single people. If he's going to "hang out with the boys" - ask yourself this, would he really go to a bar to "hang out with the boys" if there were no women inside the bar, if it was filled with men only (straight men)? No, he'd leave right away.

      Delete
  44. I was in a relationship with an Italian man for a year. I was 19 when we met, he was 32(now 20 and 33). He was the most special guy on earth to me, he was wonderful. Our relationship didn't last(our love also destroyed us, because I was too jealous...) but he was sweet, gentle, kind and he never, ever cheated on me or ever would have. I just started to get crazy over minor things in his behavior out of fear to lose him(I have very low self-esteem) and no matter how he reassured me, confirmed to me that I was beautiful to him(and not only to him but basically to everyone he knew), that I was the only one in his life and that no other girl made him feel like I did, I didn't believe him. I screwed up in our relationship by being too suspicious. I'm a Dutch girl and I became so suspicious and jealous because of a half Mexican ex boyfriend of mine who did cheat on me and didn't even try to keep it a secret from me. Also I have been bullied throughout my childhood, from age 4 to 16. So I found it impossible that such a sweet, handsome, reliable and amazing guy would even have eyes for ugly, chubby me. He didn't think I was chubby off course, but I only realize that now... I would do anything to get him back but b/c I've been very suspicious and provoked reactions from him that he couldn't handle, he is absolutely sure that a relationship between me and him won't work. It was my own stupid mistake, not his. Not all Italian men are the bastards people here make them out to be. I've met many, many friends of my sweet ex who were committed to their families. I've met more Italian women cheating on their husbands and boyfriends than Italian men cheating on their wives and girlfriends. And Dutch guys cheat a lot too my dad was pure Dutch and cheated. All my neighbours are Dutch as wooden shoes and heineken beer and they all cheat on their wives or did it in the past. I would say that 95 percent of all the men in the world cheat. And if you're lucky enough to catch one of the scarce 5 percent of men who don't, then don't ruin the relationship with jealousy. It can break much more that you could ever think...

    ReplyDelete
  45. Ladies, even though this blog was written tongue in cheek it has stirred a lot of emotion.

    NO MATTER WHAT Please follow your gut when in a relationship. If something seems off, IT IS! Don't tell yourself you are being ridiculous. Explore internally to discover what you are really feeling and then follow that. DON'T talk yourself out of your natural instincts. Trust them.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Dear Ladies

    I'm a 29 years old italian guy.
    Let me tell you just one thing, we take care of all the girls in the same way but this is only becouse we have an education and we still growing up respecting women. The one I hooked up few days ago was astonished when i went under the table picking one of her earings that was felt down... I mean I did not something special, for me was natural and obvious.
    Plus the americans guy are very rude and this makes things more easy for us. But is their fault and lack of respect for you.

    Anyway, I wish that all the ladies reading this could meet a true italian guy. Probably you will get hurt, but who cares, it will be for a good reason and when the pain will vanish (just a couple of weeks) you will have only a very awesome memory of a romantic italian adventure.

    Arrivederci Signorine.

    p.s.
    sorry for my bad english.

    p.p.s.
    every man in this world still want the same thing in the same way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This Italian guy explains why they cheat: "Probably you will get hurt, but who cares, it will be for a good reason and when the pain will vanish (just a couple of weeks) you will have only a very awesome memory of a romantic italian adventure."

      Italian men are OKAY with fooling with women's emotions and breaking their heart.

      Most of it find it unethical, cruel and evil to do that.

      But they think it's "romatic".

      Terrible.
      :-(

      Delete
  47. Oh my gosh. This is an absolutely perfect place to get to know italian men's culture :) Im now turned off to meet them (or any guy from any nationality).

    Women, Turkish men are also not ideal for a husband, to be honest. They just ruin women's lives and leave. Just like what they did to me and some other peoeple I know of.

    ReplyDelete
  48. I also met an italian charmer and we were together in italy for 1 month. Since I come from a very long and trusting relationship this new relationship seemed very strange to me. Its like the italian guy had no soul. He was saying all the nicest things to me, that he loves me and wants to be with me forever etc. We had amazing sex and we were together every second but I could never manage to have any serious conversation with him or connect on a deeper level. He turned out to be very macho and selfish man. I was constantly feeling used. He wasn't interested in my soul but only the body. There was ofcourse other reasons why I was feeling used. When I arrived to Italy I found out he has a small child and a "ex-girlfriend". And with that "ex-girlfriend" he was in contact absolutley every day. To me he explained that he actually hates her but has to speak with her otherwise she will not allow him to see the baby... what a massive load of crap you say. Well yeah but at that time I kinda believed it. It hurt me alot and I decided not to invest much feelings in this relationship and just enjoy the ride while it lasts. Afterall I had an amazing trip through italy and met some really wonderful people. I dont regret anything but Ill just say italian men dont have a soul!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agree: "I could never manage to have any serious conversation with him or connect on a deeper level. He turned out to be very macho and selfish man."

      I am having the SAME experience.

      Can't really have a deep conversation with this Italian man I am seeing (in the U.S.)

      He is: "I am man, you are woman" mentality.

      It's very strange how he tries to control what I say and do.

      Very patriarchal and backwards

      Caveman.

      I have only been seeing him for a month. Don't know if he is cheating, but his behavior and communication style is very sketchy.

      He does not instill trust in me.

      I suspect he keeps the talk to a minimum so that he does not reveal too much.

      He is not very transparent.

      Constant red flags with him.
      :-/

      I know what it feels like when a man is TRULY in love with me and this feels like a farce to me.

      Delete
  49. I met this guy on line, his daughter actually put him on the site and I was just trying it out. He is a widower, his wife passed away 5 years ago. I too am a widower. We started chatting he lives in Seattle and I live in Kansas. He is very sweet and says nice things, we talk and share all the time,spending hours on line getting to know one another. I also have started talking with his daughter and she says that he talks about me all the time and that he his completely smitten with me. I actually stumbled upon this blog by accident. I was just looking to understand his nationality. I was not expecting to be overwhelmed by negativity about the Italian culture. If I said I was not a little concered about all this then I would be lying to myself. I am independant, my kids are grown and I find myself for the first time able to just do things for me. I really would like to pursue this relationship and pray that God keeps my eyes wide open and not be gullable to pretty words and total yummyness. ( He is mighty fine ) He is very nice but I will be cautious. After losing my late husband to cancer who I never fully trusted because he was always checking woman out on line and letting me know how he wished I would lose a little wieght. I still loved him but I never want to go through that ever again. I want that love that is for real, I want to be able to trust my partner even if he is Italian and I want open communication and honesty. Okay really great sex and I would have the perfect life. But, I know perfect is not real been there done that and now I have eyes wide open, I just hope my eyes stay wide open regarding this relationship.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Jeannie,

      Thanks for your comment. I want to say that I think Italian American men are NOT like Italian Men from Italy. Having said that, keep your eyes open for any man and every relationship. Have an open heart but dont play the fool. Follow your gut. It will always point you in the right direction.

      Delete
  50. ZEN ADVICE

    Just find the anti-thesis of the standard Italian male i.e from a behavior perspective. Don't compromise on virility or good looks.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Mhm.. As a woman, I think the best thing to do is dating the farthest away from an Italian both physically and characterially. I think the best is to go for an albine from norway or sweden. They will be not as charming and darkly fascinating but they will respect you, share half the duties at home and take care of the children as much or more than you.
    I've been in Normay and my experience was a decent one. The only downside is that you are expected to take the initiative with guys there and they tend to be a little bit on the shy side and not too kinky in bed. But I believe that a marriage with them would be better preserved.

    ReplyDelete
  52. What is the number for French men then, 100 percent?

    ReplyDelete
  53. Hello :) I'm an Italian man in his late 20's, green eyes, blond hair..judging by the proposals (shocking when they come from married women) that i receive, I've seen that women are likely to cheat at least as men (Italian or not...in fact a lot of german & american women around their 40's in Florence seem to like to give me heads before giving me the chance to show my interest in their person, and then get mad when I'm repulsed and decide to meet a "woman of value")... women are more likely to follow their feelings if the aspirant lover can stimulate their right brain's emisphere, and then it's easy to forget about the "official beloved"...and...by the way I've never cheated. It's because I put my principles over everything...even before my feelings. When I promise to dedicate all myself to a person, that promise is not just made to that person, but also to myself, and if I would break it, I would feel bad for my beloved and for me...what kind of man am I if I can't keep my own word neither to myself? Are you sure you have not dated all the same man ladies? Italian or not...your man will always betray you if he puts his feelings and phisical needs before empathy and self value. About the 40% of italian men that I know share my same point of view, so please, don't label italians as cheaters just because of their nationality...the only distinction with other men is that if an italian cheats he does it with class...And try to see if your man has strong values as loyalty to his words and thoughts, then he will respect what he says to you and be correct with you, try to spot these principles before giving him all of you...May you have an happy life full of love...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you spoke up. I think the author's story is great and I found it very funny. Admittedly I was shocked by all the bad stories about Italian men. As my friend would say: "You get the relationship you deserve."

      Delete
    2. Haha!

      Italian man writes:
      "...the only distinction with other men is that if an italian cheats he does it with class."

      with class?!?

      No. Cheating is ALWAYS considered Scumbag behavior - Italian or not.
      It's disgusting and shameful.

      Delete
  54. I met my Italian when I was eleven and he seventeen. I thought him wonderful, so handsome and nice. I'd see him with different girls but that didn't deter me, I was smitten. When I was fourteen I began going out on an occasional Saturday night. My mother was a divorced woman with five children and she worked, so she didn't get much time with us. She did love us and did her best, however, we lived in a little Ozzie country community where we had to catch a bus to the nearest town. Mum would leave home early in the morning and get home at 6:30 at night. He talked me into sex and I wanted to do anything for him. Then I got pregnant and he took me to a backyard abortionist, I had no idea what was going to happen, and it was horrific. He used to tell me he wouldn't marry me as my parents were divorced. We did marry and soon after he began beating me whenever I did anything he didn't like. His mother and siblings were rude and mean to me, which he did nothing about. He treated me like I was nobody because I wasn't Italian. After 29yrs of marriage I left him with the help of the Women Health Centre. It was so hard as I was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress, I was very thin and unwell. I fought hard to get on top and support myself. Ten years after him I met and married an American from TN. We have moved back to live in Australia now and life is so much better. I praise God for my grown up four children and for my faith in God. I would never have done all I have since then if not for this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good for you. You are a gorgeous and strong woman. You survived and came out AHEAD. Many may not have been able to if in your very same shoes. Bless you, and don't stop telling your story. Shout it out as loudly as you can to the world. You experienced what you did for a reason. You are a messenger now, a survivor by God's grace.

      Delete
    2. Go girl!! GOD will be in your side , good decision.

      Delete
    3. Thank you for sharing.
      You are a strong woman for leaving a man that treated you so badly.

      Delete
  55. I have a doubt. I'm dating a guy that's 26 and im 18; but he is half italian( his mom is italian)and half mexican( his dad is mexican) but he was born in Italy. Does that 95% of cheating can still count on him or is there a chance that he can be some what faithful?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, half is whole in this arena sweetie. Run like h*ll.

      Delete
  56. I am just so glad to have read this. I am dating an italian guy for two nights now and my instinct is telling me its not going anywhere right. Good thing i only had free dinners. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  57. I live in Italy currently and I won't tell you a percentage of the men that cheat, but I get the feeling that it's much higher here than in the U.S. I have to hear countless stories from my husband about all his work buddies and their "girlfriends" or their "prostitutes". In fact, his boss recently got divorced because he could not stop cheating and told the rest of the men they were "living a lie" if they stayed married and desired other women or had sex with other men. Rather radical I'd say and come to find out that this man has a girlfriend now, whom he cheats on constantly!

    My husband is Italian-American, but raised in the states, and he claims to be disgusted by all the guys in Italy. Let's hope he doesn't fall victim to the same phenomenon.

    I will tell you, I'm blonde and it's been a little challenging to get used to the way men act here. No, they don't grope you, although I had one incident where I was stalked in a supermarket, that was a little scary. But they definitely stare for a long time! An intense stare, with those "f&*k me" eyes and it's a bit uncomfortable, but it's not offensive. They do adore women here and they just like to look at beautiful things. Hey it's a country driven by art, architecture, aesthetics. But there's something else too. They seem to have much more testosterone. It's like they just exude sex, I'm not exaggerating. Since being here, I've known so many people who are currently being cheated on or people that have cheated in the past (friends, family members of my husband, etc.) So yea, in response to this post, Italian men are more likely to cheat and culturally it is a bit more acceptable. In Southern Italy, even more so. So girls, Italian men can be wonderful for a fling, but you must be careful. And yes, the Italian women stay home all day long and cook and clean if they don't have a job!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree whole heartedly and have the same experience here. I am married to a wonderful Italian man; he is from here and only having been to the US when with me during our marriage; whole family here for generations. He is as romantic as a stone (I tease him of this constantly), not overly loud or seemingly excitable but more of a very logical, steady man. I love him dearly and trust him wholeheartedly; he doesn't stay 5 minutes late from work without calling to say all the way home where he is. I ask him constantly if he is Italian. That being said, I am over 40, not particularly beautiful (average, I think) but with blonde hair and green eyes. As a blonde American living here I can confirm that men will stare more often then not. It was very disconcerting and something my husband is not so happy with either. I am not thin and the Italian women around me are absolutely gorgeous but men will still stare; one began telling my husband that he was very lucky to have an American woman, that he would want one and was very disconcerting in the way he looked at me; as my husband was holding my hand in a bar in Rome. I can ride the trains to work in Rome and am amused to see almost any man on the platforms at any age watching another woman around him in a blatant stare; something you really can't see in America. I have been with my husband many years and can absolutely say there are men from Italy that are very special and wonderful but I can also say that even when I was younger and my husband was not around me I would be approached with a very smooth pick up line by more then one man nearby; it was very disconcerting to me, not something I think I ever had to deal with in American. You can find a special man but get to know him and be more wary of the ones that seem more experienced with flowery words.

      Delete
  58. Wow! All of these comments seem very bashful towards Italian men. I've been with my Italian bf for 2 years now, yes they are possessive.. He claims to have not cheated during our relationship and I believe him. I've never gotten that gut feeling that he has either. Trust is very important in a relationship, and to be honest I think the comments here are very stereotypical. I absolutely love my boyfriend and he's done a lot to prove that he loves me as well. I'm 20, he's 25 and we talk about marriage and moving in together . I'm still a virgin I'm saving it until marriage and he respects that 100% . He's never ever pressured me into doing anything and I love that about him. So ladies just because you've had a bad experience with an Italian guy .. Don't give up on all of em'. Some of them are genuinely good guys. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's been a few more months... has he cheated on you yet? If not, come back on here to tell us when he has. Sorry, just warning you for what's to come.

      Delete
    2. Are you also Italian

      Delete
  59. What a beautiful epitome of the power of the First Amendment as well as the positives of the internet. I could literally write a 'Fountainhead-length' memoir based on my very own horrific nightmare I mean experience of marriage with an Italian-American man. No ”fling” from an Italian voyage--but an everyday relationship which sprung at an American workplace, between two co-workers, and ultimately led to moving in together, becoming engaged, getting married, having a child, etc...
    I spend countless hrs researching anything & everything online...but just discovered this web pg. today. As I just read through post after post after post, almost ALL of which conveyed the same basic thoughts/ideas/observations/experiences, I feel validated. I feel a little less ”crazy” (since that's what I've been portrayed as by him to anyone/everyone who'll listen) since I left him. And the thing that probably most piqued my curiosity & focus in this thread was the sheer #of times I read the phrase
    ”gut feeling” by various posters. Because intuition & my primal ”gut feeling” (along w/lots of help from prayer/God!) was the ONLY vehicle that enabled me to finally, once & for all, get the h*ll away from that ”man”.

    ReplyDelete
  60. I'm 19 and have been seeing an Italian guy (23) for nearly two months now. He was born in Australia but full blood Italian and grew up with full italian family. We met at my work as I sell suits to guys and as soon as he walked in the store I knew he was something and it was like a miracle that he ended up asking for my number and since then he started taking me on dates. First date we went straight to his house, he tried touching me I said "no" and he left it as that. Few weeks after he told me how he feels about me (that he likes me, and respect me and think im special etc) I did not have sex with him until 8th dates and things got more serious over time, he takes me for breakfast, dinner but I realised that we never ever hang out between 12-7 pm or weekedays he's always busy either work, gym, training or drinking with his friends. But I didn't see why he couldnt spare one afternoon with me. And he recently booked a hotel room for us for a night so we hung out for a whole day and morning for the first time, it was great. But he always avoids my questions when is about relationship. He would say we're together, and that what we have is a relationship but he would also say "we're mature right, we do not need a tittle" I'm not quite sure what's going on here, though I don't accuse him of playing with me and other girls, on valentines days he said his there with me for a reason and that he have my picture up on fb so all the girls he was seeing know his now taken. But why so hard to just make it official ? he once about to introduce me to his mother but she wasnt home., thats something right?

    Im really just confused atm, and after reading all of this it really does concern me.

    I also feels like its true they're mummy boy and that they seem to love them self, oh and another problem I'm Asian (indonesian dutch) his family is old school so Italian with an asian its like a shock for them i guess, so could this be what stopping him ? or is he just scared of commitment ?

    Other than that he is an amazing person, he's romantic, and thoughtful never meet anyone like him, he takes me out every weekend and he fits me on his busy schedule but i live hour away he never actually come my way i always have to go to his way which i dont mind, bur yes he does get seem a bit jealous of other guys i talk to always wondering, and make comments to pictures i post online, he seems not to like it, but other than that i never meet anyone like him he makes me feel amazing and want to be a better person but also i feel as his too good for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. RED FLAG!!! "WE'RE MATURE RIGHT, WE DON'T NEED A TITLE"

      Delete
    2. I hope you have dumped him by now

      Delete
  61. I am an Aussie who has been with an Italian who moved here in 2011..he text cheated on me once and I know he has txt and deleted texts and has had girls chase him and he's flirtatious too...but I don't know if he has actually cheated..

    We are doing the parter visa together(MY suggestion) and he hasn't got an intention of going "home" ...he is not really like the other Italians in many ways and its clear to me and on his (quite famous) blog he is specific with saying how much the Italians drive him crazy.. Many times I've forgotten he's not from here..

    Having said this there are so many questions I have and until I can be sure he isn't still texting others or answering them rather, I won't be signing anything..

    We live together and he registered our relationship and I am still scared..not one guy has shown I can trust them and he included...but I have never loved a person as much as I love him.. Italian or not I feel he's the one, but I will continue to be on my guard..

    ReplyDelete
  62. Candy-Well, ladys I am going out with an Italian guy that It looks like a good men so far, he is the type of guy that " never lies" very polite and handsome, he got divorce years ago and have only one child we are couples years apart but We dont care he always tells me he loves me ,we just working our way around to see where this relationship is going to take us I told him about this blog and he told me it was all false after a sweet laught, his parents died and he dont have a big family acording to him, but a friend told me that because of what he do a ( police officer) he might have a lot of girfriends I do know his work schedule and the time he go home I usually talk to him a lot, sex is good and every thing else too. Well lady's wish me luck. Hope he dont break my heart's because I do care about him and love him a lot and I will fight for him. Later

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Same Is happening to me right now, but I might know a lot more about my man , but I am sure that eventually you guys will end up in a great relationship. Good Luck, weird that my man is a police officer like you men , hopefully is not the same that we talking about here, my man has only one child that he loves so much by the way, which makes me loving him more and he is the best of the best in bed, very gentler and he makes me feel awsome . But since you expressed that you know his work schedule and he call you often give him a chance trust him more and offer him all that he might go and get from another women out side your zone. Take care! N3

      Delete
  63. I am glad I happened to find this blog, though I'm not quite sure the Italian guy I'm currently talking to is the type to cheat. I may be 2 months away from turning a mere 20 years old and he's 24, but so far he is nothing like the men I've seen described here. I think I finally found one of those rare guys! I'm half American and half Salvadoran, lived in the US all my life, and I'm very family-oriented. If there's any sign of lying or infidelity in a relationship, that man is out the door. I can tell this guy in particular is very moral; he's sort of like the anonymous Italian man who posted above and said he puts his principles before his feelings. And my guy not even really trying to romance me right now (i.e., not using any crazy lines, etc), I was just automatically drawn to him. I mean, he's expressed how much interest he has in me, but yeah. We're getting to know each other and we have good conversations. We met online and talked for quite a while before finally seeing each other's faces via Skype. He lives in Prato, works a lot, and he says he's not currently into any of the girls over there. I'm choosing to believe him. And it's not even just because he's adorable. You know how sometimes you can just tell when a guy is different? It's like that, at least for now. Before I started really liking my Italian, I was talking with an Australian guy, who deep down, I never fully trusted. My gut was right and he turned out to be a jerk, just like the American guys I've taken chances on. But my Italian guy is very sweet. He's laid-back and kind of quirky, which I find to be attractive. My gut is telling me to stick with this one, but I'm not going to get too attached too quickly. I do plan on visiting Italy later this year to spend a few weeks with him, so fingers crossed!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wish you the best. Although my daughter waisted 12 years of her life with an Italian American who seemingly was the one. We all loved him but because she's not Italian his family did not want him to marry her and he only does what his family wants. As in a a reply to this blog from an Italian man who happens to be a psycholigist he said that "most Italian men are family oriented and seek a mother figure in their women because although they are men they are also child like and are morbidly attached to their mother and grandmothers.

      Delete
  64. I just recently vacationed for 2 weeks (solo traveler) to Venice and Florence. Let me tell you I had so many Italian men wanting to take me out, wine and dine me. In one instance, as I was sitting on a bench after visiting 2 museums and walking/standing for long hours. A random Italian guy started talking to me, he did share some insight on how Italian men perceive "American Women" or "Foreign Non-Italian Women" basically as an easy lay because they are mesmerized by the accent, looks, charm, etc the whole nine. In another experience another random Italian guy flat out told me he wanted to take me to dinner, dancing and to sleep with him. I said I may be an American Tourist or what ever you want to label me, but I don't sleep around in the U.S. nor am I willing to do it in Italy. He then said in his thick accent "Yes, in Italy" no in U.S. No thanks! I responded. Although, a majority of the men I encountered (young and old) were very handsome or polished. I somewhat figured their game or tactics. I believe there are cheaters everywhere in all colors, shapes and sizes, not just in Italy. As some individuals mentioned here, in your heart or if you have a feeling something isn't right, go with your instinct because most likely something is wrong or odd.

    ReplyDelete
  65. Where did you get this statistic,from Dora the Explorer? Everywhere in the world there are people who cheat,not only in Italy.Would you like me to say that 95% of the U.S. people are fat?You can not put everyone into the same basket and yes of course I'm Italian.Ciao gullible!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Again, I have to remind you this is a BLOG! It's a biased account of my observations while living in Italy a few years ago. It's not supposed to be statistically correct. It is not supposed to be serious. It's tongue in cheek (that means it's supposed to be silly). Learn some humor or stop reading and commenting on other people's stuff if you don't understand sarcasm.

      Delete
    2. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

      Delete
  66. I agree, this is completely bias. I am part Italian and I do not cheat! Stupid article!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Anonymous,

      This is not an article. It is a web log (i.e., a BLOG) which is riddled with personal bias. Also, it is a tongue in cheek blog in that (which means I wrote it in gest). Geez, lighten up!

      Delete
    2. I like what you said.

      Delete
  67. So funny to find this blog... Kind of cute. OK... I'm Sicilian-American, have been a lying, cheating bastard, and managed to stay married for over 30 years. As Italian/Sicilian men get older we get more, and more attached to our wives. Emotionally, intellectually, etc... My wife is from Napoli, and I'm "fra diavolo" ((reddish-blond hair, blue eyes, and quite fair complected)). I don't know what to tell you, folks, but my wife is a saint, my children can do no wrong, and although I may look at another woman it's usually to critique what she's wearing. ;D My wife is my best friend, and my partner. Do I regret my indiscretions? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably. With age, and patience Italian/Sicilian men can be wonderful life partners. Just give us a chance, or better yet, just ask us. We all like to talk, you know. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. no one likes to talk or deal with a cheating bastard!

      Delete
    2. How unlucky she is to be married to you.

      Delete
  68. I don't like the misleading title of this blog. It's very offensive and upsetting reading that you honestly believe that 95% of all Italian males cheat. I'm Italian and we have very family-orientated people with very low divorce rates - unlike those in the Angloshpere!

    I've never cheated on any of the girls that I've ever dated or gone out with. The women who get into these sorts of situations are the naive types. After reading some of the rants coming from disgruntled women most of them were middle-aged single parents looking for a fling and nothing more knowingly under the impression that the relationship is going to end up anywhere.

    I'm currently living in Australia and I must say that this country is possibly the most sexually promiscuous country I've ever visited and travelled to. The women here go night clubbing almost every weekday and enjoy the weekly anonymous one night stands. It's a very different lifestyle in comparison to the Italian lifestyle regarding sexual activities.

    Maybe I should write a blog titled; 95% of all White girls are sluts?

    ReplyDelete
  69. Sounds like a man thing as you stated in the beginning. I'm not sure why women seem surprised by this. Even Oprah interviewed men on this and 8 out of 10 or something cheated. It's an old old issue. Just be aware, what else can you do?

    Maybe it's an Italian stereotype because of the love making scenario you wrote about, but I know American men who are worse. You might as well throw in the latinos and french while you're at it, don't you think?

    Love your blog!

    ReplyDelete
  70. I am married to a 1/2 Italian man who was born and raised in the United States. He cheats and lies compulsively to me and his various lovers. When he is with me, he treated me wonderfully and tells him I am the love of his life and only lover, but without even looking, I keep discovering that he is having sex with multiple women on the side. His secret sex relationships range from 1-night stands with people he meets on sex-hookup websites in various cities (he travels to on business), to local women in our area (Houston) that he has full relationships with. The local women believe, like me, that they, like me, think they are seeing him exclusively (because he lies and says that to each of us) so they post photos with him and say "in a relationship" and refer to him as her "boyfriend" on facebook meanwhile he's my husband and he lies to me too and says he is on "business trips" when is almost never home on weekends or holidays. He rages if I ever try to call him at "work" or if I ever even touch his laptop or cell phones or a closed credit card envelop. He keeps ALL finances secret and rages if I ask any questions. He says he loves me because I am submissive and do not ask questions. He says I should be happy because he "comes home to" me so I should forget about what he does when he is away from home.. He told me he is a good Christian man but I have discovered he is actually a compulsive liar and cheats constantly and says whatever I want to hear so he can keep me as 1 of many sex partners.. I feel betrayed and, if this marriage does not work out, I will NEVER date a handsome Italian man ever again. BEWARE LADIES.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you know that your husband is cheating on you and has multiple women in his life why are you being submissive? Aren't you aware that you can contract a vaginal desease from him? How do you know that these other women that are "in a relationship" with him are not stepping out on him? They probably know by now that he is married and cheating on you with them. Get some back bone. Let him go he's not the only man in the world. He is primative in his thinking and is bringing you down. You have the right as his wife to know where he is spending your money. As a marital partner you are entitled to half of everything in your marriage whether you work or not and especially if he does not allow you to work, which under the circumstances I believe you're a stay at home wife. Talk to a professional, see a lawyer and get your rights met before he kicks you to the curb with a younger you and leaves you penniless.

      Delete
  71. Hi, I'm Massimo a 100% italian guy born and grew up in Rome. I finded this blog casually and I find your comments very interesting. Sorry for my english, I know that it's not perfect. I can show you my interpretation of the story, because I'm an Italian and also a psychologist.

    First. In Italy we grew up with a big sense of the family, it's common for us to live with our family to adulthood. The feminine figure is the center of a family, we are loved morbidly by our mother and grandmother, so we know very well in which manner the women think and what they want. The mother is the center of the italian culture and when an Italian man find a woman and want married her, he is searching a maternal transposition of the mother. The Italian man is a child and want explore the world, if an Italian man give you his heart you become his world. In Italy actually we have a big problem, this problem is the "Stalking". Many men don't accept the refusal of their women, in the divorce for example, and trying with the violence to get back their, because the wife is like the mother and the mother can't go with others. The basis of all is a morbid love, transmitted to us from our mothers.

    Next step. The Catholicism is the first religion in Italy, for a common standard every child have a baptism and the other catholic cerimonies, the sense of the religion is very strong. This religion is ambiguos because demonize the sex but at the same time puts the sex at the center of the thought, a child has a big fear but also a big curiosity of the sex. I'm atheist but I have in me the germs of the catholicism and sometimes I think with this ideas in the background: Honor your father and your mother, not make others suffer... The italian man don't want create a suffering in a woman, he is a child and it's exploring the sex. This could explain why an Italian man is so conflictual, he loves the woman like a mother but also like a playmate, he wants play and discover a world that only in the adulthood can see.

    Another step. In italy we have a manner to do everything, the aesthetic sense is highly developed and also when we are courting a woman we have to do it in a certain manner because appearence is everything, we call this concept "Bella figura". We are surrounded by art, sculptures, paintings, literature, everything speaks about love, sacrifice, honor; probably all of this is part of the genius of our people and we have it in the blood.

    The italian man is like the volcanoes bubbling in his own land: possesiv but also polite, knows the honor but also the betrayal, insatiable lover but also romantic poet. All aspects of the italian man are part of the culture.
    If you have found my analysis interesting and not boring I could try to give you, in a separate comment, my interpretation of the compulsive behavior to treason that many Italian men have.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am an Italian man and, well, what this gentleman says is quite correct. Obviously it is a generalization and it is also true that there is no average Italian (man or woman). But what he says about our aesthetic sense, and the right way to do everything hits the spot. It is also true that many men still live at home with their mothers and that our society is mostly matriarchal. Obviously there are as many different types of "Italian" men as there are ...men in Italy. I wonder if the women in this blog actually expect a stereotypical behaviour from their Latin lover just because he happens to be Italian. Also they seem ready to criticize their lover's behaviour or morals, but what about their own behaviour...did they enter the relationship as an end-all life relationship or did they treat it as a bit of fun? Did you just close your eyes and whisper "love me" or did you aim for a normal loving relationship from the start? Basically what I am saying: did you implement your side of the stereotype or were you your normal selves from the start?

      Delete
  72. I'm reporting this website to the UK police, such racism and offensively stupid analysis should not be tolerated by Italian men (I'm one of them)

    ReplyDelete
  73. Wow, wish I would've seen this in early September. I met an absolutely beautiful Italian man that swept me off my feet while he was on vacation in the US. Within minutes it was like he could see into my soul, and told me all the right things (you are so beautiful, your eyes are amazing, you are perfect, etc). and I fell right in. Hard. I had just ended a marriage of many years, and just wanted to find "true love".

    I fell so much that I even (a few weeks after that vacation) paid for a $400 plane ticket and flew hundreds of miles to see him for the weekend (he was still in the US). It was an amazing weekend with passionate lovemaking (many many times a day), amazing food that he cooked for me, and I was treated like a queen. On the last day I was there, I happened to be looking at a map on his IPhone, and in comes a text from another girl. I picked up his phone later while it was charging, and the multiple texts they were exchanging were there. Numerous texts throughout the day during the time he was spending with me.

    The day that our vacation was over, I flew home, and he flew back to Italy for a couple of months. He didn't call when he got home like he said he would, and finally emailed his first message 4 days later. It's been 3.5 weeks since we returned from that vacation (which again, was amazing), but he has only called me once. I received one brief email back to the 5 I send him. One said he was in Switzerland and his phone was roaming which is why he couldn't email me earlier. I wanted to say "Note to self - don't go to Switzerland ever because they apparently don't have wireless or other phones there". Now I know what he was probably doing....

    He flew to the south of Spain yesterday "with his dad" to see family for a few days. Sure. I'll buy that. Funny enough, he hasn't responded to one Skype text I have sent him since yesterday morning.

    So glad I found this. I'll play the game. I'm going to stop contacting him and let him persue me. =) Sure, I'll meet up with him again someday (the sex was SO amazing), but now I know where I stand in a relationship! Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  74. Yes, I can totally agree with this.

    I've dated two Italian men.

    The first: American born and raised, but of 100% Italian descent. He was very sweet, in love, best guy I ever dated. He was shy and a virgin. he never cheated, but we did not work out because of long distance.

    The second was Italian born - lived in Italy for 7 years, and moved to Canada. He is a dirty whore. He treated me like a princess on our first date.... served me food on my plate, paid for everything, complimented me, listened attentively, laughed at everything I said, asked me a million questions to show interest... and then he even texted me that night asking when I'm free next and if I'd like to go out with him again. We saw each other a few days later, went for coffee and then a movie. He wanted to see me a 3rd time. Then out of NOWHERE he cancelled out date last minute. My friend told me to play him back, so to pretend it didn't bother me and that I went out and met other guys. So sure enough, he asked me out again. The 3rd date he was romantic and a gentleman again. We made out and he tried having sex with me, and showed me all his moves. I was left feeling on a high for about a week. We made plans for the next weekend, but once again, he cancelled LAST minute and without warning and without an explanation or apology. He texted me telling me how much he wanted to see me, and how much he missed me. Then out of nowhere, he told me he wanted to *** on my face and *** my throat until I choke. I'm glad I never slept with him. He is the most weird, messed up person I have ever met. We met on e harmoney which is a PAID membership site that has an extensive profile to fill out and get a "match" based on your soul, you can't just pick who you want. So he wanted a committed relationship. And I checked out his FB page and he has hundreds of single gorgeous women on it that he never or rarely comments on or likes their pictures. That confuses me even more. Major game players unless they are the shy and reserved type.

    ReplyDelete
  75. Year ago I met Italian men in dating page he is age 30 from Naples, he is on pages such as Badoo and datehookup. I thought he is landscape architect but I found the truth out one year after he is not! we met just few times cause he pretend to be very busy and yes the same lies he want serious relationship and he told me big lie girl from Hungary left him and didn't want to live with him in Italy and he has house near Amalfi, yes big lies all lie he has nothing he was poor student who got his illegal business. Nothing was never normal with him. He didn't call me, we were just chatting and often he disappear. He didn't want me to stay on some pages but at the right time he had profiles on every dating page day after day I found his profiles he said he won't meet nobody just chatting with males, lie of course I knew so I left him. The reason was always the same he is busy, study and work all the time so he don't got time for me and he ask me to wait he lie he got job opportunity and he will move to another country and I should wait him no I didn't wait I left him. First I believed it all cause I'm younger but all the time I was searching the truth out of him and he thought he is smart and I never find truth but I found. He travel around the world he has been at least in Florida, Riga, Poland, London, Romania, Czech, North Europe, Germany almost everywhere he go for girls it's his job. Maybe some of you know him, I guess so. Once I ask him how he has got so much money to go everywhere if he doesn't have any job as he told me? he didn't say nothing just disappear from the facebook that evening, strange I thought.. He was living as poor student or then it was all big show. When we met in his country he told me he cannot have family in Italy it's not possible, I didn't say nothing I already sense he was not my type and I found Russian shampoo from his student flat. I'm sure he was cheating me already (and other girls) all the time and he think he can do that cause he is not married and he doesn't belong to any woman, ok that's on his mind, I don't like cheating and if you say to somebody you want relationship then it's cheating I think. And now year later I found out the truth about him. He has page on the internet and he sells sex travels to Italian men! He doesn't got many followers something about 100. Probably some males pay to him and he reserve travels and slut girls to them near Baltic. I didn't knew I would find the truth like this.. But anyway I know males hate him also and everybody doesn't accept him and his business. He wrote to one page that he wish all men to become same like him and men doesn't need to pay any restaurant food to women and no gifts, he wish everybody to stay as cold as him. Incredible attitude and sure the reason is mental or in his family who know. That's most strange thing ever happen to me. I just wanted the truth out of him cause I knew always something was wrong and I thought he is married but the truth was even worst. And the last thing. After I found out what he does he called me son of a bitch.

    ReplyDelete
  76. I am dating an italian guy now, but he's all the way at italy now while I'm in Asia. He says that he will fly to meet me one day but the day seems to be forever...
    I guess it's a waste of time. Very likely. But he still want and ask me to wait for him. Now I'm confused. I do put my heart into the relationship but he's making me wait for TOO LONG.

    ReplyDelete
  77. Guys, I loved reading this blog. Oh dear! Aren't they evil?
    So evil, they don't care whether the next person they are with is hurt or not?
    These kind of hurt is worse than death.
    Everyone who is cheating for recreational purpose should be hanged, straight away.

    ReplyDelete
  78. Wow...I am an Italian sicilian and Dutch woman who lives in Southern California and I already cannot stand the men I have met here. And I wanted to go to Italy next year, in Palermo to visit and meet someone to have a connection, since both of my grandparents are born in Palermo, Sicily. I am beautiful but extremely strong. If the men in Italy disrespect me and lie and try to use me , I am going to have them by there balls and hurt them back. You cannot con me..and if you Italian men even try to play those games. Watch out, cause this sicilian woman from California will strike back.

    ReplyDelete
  79. Sicilian woman from California who will visit Palermo where my grandparents are from. Not all you men in Italy can get away with using women for your sexual pleasure. I have left every man here because they are not good enuf for me and even ones who never touched me. If you dare to disrespect me as sicilian bloodline where my grandparents are born, I will slam you back when I come to visit Italy. I can outsmart you...big time !

    ReplyDelete
  80. Sicilian bloodline woman from California..I have read everything on here. I already hate a lot of men who have made me so sick in my gut without even touching me. Ladies who have been to Italy and also the states, what's wrong with you ? Have some self worth in yourself..do not allow a pig man to disrespect you or con you or use you. Italian men in Italy I warn you..if I meet you in Italy , I will make damn sure I meet your mother first and make you show me where you live and if you choose not to let me meet your mother and your family and I know where you work and live, you will never stand a chance with me or get to even first base. A real queen as I will see through any and all your bullshit. I will be sure to test you and any of you as I do in the states. There are woman like me who are beautiful with brains who can outsmart you and never allow any disrespect or using or conning to unfold upon her. You better show serious respect...or this sicilian woman with a temper if I am dared disrespected will strike back and embarrass you. You cannot play your games with all the women out there !!!

    ReplyDelete
  81. First ladies, stop it with this internet dating and secondly, I think all men cheat, some are more smart and smooth then hours. From what I can gather from this blog, Italian men are just a good as cheating women than the average world citizen man. Finally, how silly do you have to believe stories about his wife poisoning him or dying or whatever, all cheaters say that and you sound dumb for admitting you believed that.

    The best cheater award goes to women (source: myself as I atoo am a woman) and the Italian men (source: this blog).

    ReplyDelete
  82. What I don't get is: why don't they just say what it is they want and do it? If there whole intention is to just fu@# you, then why do they have to say they love you and want to spend the rest of their lives with you? We are grown women and if we are looking for some casual, fun sex then that is our prerogative. BUT, please don't say you are in love with us!! That is really cruel and deserving of a real beating.

    ReplyDelete
  83. Interesting post and comments, but I tend to agree with the above comment; men in general cheat and maybe it's partly a sense of male entitlement and partly a difference between men and women in terms of what we need from sex.

    If you know a man is married, is going to stay with his wife for the sake of children, companionship and stability then you can at least make an informed choice about having sex with him.

    The problem is the lying obviously. I've been in a ten year relationship with someone I loved, and I know that sex certainly changes after even just a year. Unless you're extremely sexually compatible it's going to become a bit boring. So I tend to think it's natural to want to have sex with other people. I even said to my long term partner that I accepted he might want to have sex with other women, but if he did then my rules were that it had to be someone neither of us knew and he had to practice safe sex.

    He was quite hurt at this suggestion and speculated that it might mean I was sexually bored with him. The truth is we were both sexually bored by this time! We ended amicably a year or so later, and we never cheated on each other for the duration of our relationship.

    If we'd had kids it would have been a different story. If you think about it, staying together only because you want to provide a stable home for the kids shouldn't really mean that you have to give up on having a sex life for ten years or more. That seems unrealistic to me.

    Anyway, as regards Italian men, I've dated two - one who would never have cheated and is now married, he's just not the cheating type, and one who definitely would cheat. I think it's obvious when a man is a cheating type, but I think we women wear rose tinted spectacles.

    At the moment I'm being flirted with by an Italian who lives and works nearby, he's so good at it and I love it! But I'm also pretty good at finding things out online so I know he's been married three years and has a baby.

    Also, instinctively I know that he'd rather pretend to be single so he can behave romantically, than be honest and say 'I'd like to have an affair with you'. I think Italian men like the idea of romance around sex, hence the cheating. I'm not sure why. I just know that when UK men want to have an affair with you they're more honest about it being an affair, i.e. they'll say 'my sex life is boring now and it would be so exciting with you but I can’t leave my partner and/or kids'.

    I used to feel extremely insulted by this, but now I've come to accept it's just what half of men do, whether Italian or not. The ones who don't tend to be men who value emotional stability so highly they'll forgo sexual excitement in the longer term for the sake of a loving caring relationship based on honesty.

    I'm not sure I could generalise more than to say - men are more likely to want to cheat, and Italian men who do are less honest about the way they cheat - hence the broken hearts since they lie about their intentions.

    I've yet to try it out with a cheat! And as mentioned I've never cheated myself. But in my mid 40s with a full creative life and friendships, my needs are very different - I'm not looking to set up home with anyone. I think the difficult thing is when a young women still in her fertile years seeks a relationship and finds out she's wasted time with a cheater.

    Therefore I'd advise thorough investigation of the potential man, and trust your instinct - you don't want to be feeling too swept away and sexually excited. Better to feel a warm loving glow and a strong sense of trust. Ignore the sweet talk!

    ReplyDelete
  84. Very enlightening! I was just conjuring up images of "life together" with this Italian guy who sort of courted me through FB. And darn! I gave him my email address and we communicate thru my email. Now I know...this is a great wake up call...and besides..I felt...something was really wrong :-(

    ReplyDelete
  85. Im married to italian man and he never cheated on me and he never will. On contrary he has experience of being cheated by ex gf and he knows how much it is painful. Its true italian men looks into women but i think it looks more like that because they like to express. There are bad people and good people everywhere. Not always man cheating but also women cheat... Not always italian man cheat...but men in other countries as well...we dont cheat when we find true love and try to keep loyalty

    ReplyDelete
  86. Yep, I concur. Dated a 100% pure Sicilian man. He was dirty lying whore.

    ReplyDelete
  87. OK! I understand that many Italian men (95% ...? maybe) have relationships outside of marriage. But with whom are they having these affairs? I think they are most likely having affairs with married women. So don't you think Italian women must be having maybe as many affairs as men? I think women are able to keep it their mouths shut....hmm well, hmmm. Maybe not.

    ReplyDelete
  88. This blog is a wake up call. I dated and lived 4 years with a canadian-born italian douchebag who is a lying, deceptive, charming, sociopath mamma's boy. He was so good at lying, the lies just rolled off of his tongue so naturally. He used to hide his cell phone, and make outlandish lies about working late, when in reality according to his credit card statement, had taken someone out to dinner that same night. He was also on POF and other sites, without a profile picture of course. Despite all the cheating, I loved him, and stayed with him. Until he left me for the whore he had cheated on me with. I regret wasting my youth on such a piece of s***. As soon as I found out, I should have left that jerk. I can never get those years back and am still hurt and crushed from the betrayal.

    ReplyDelete
  89. My Italian used to cheat on me , lied on me and abuse me , abusing happened once just becouse he cheat on me in the toilet with my best friend when I was in the room next to , after all I we started words fight , he got more angry so he went to my friend bed to sleep and to continue what he started in the toilet.. I took the bedshit down and I saw what I saw , patology ! After I moved from him , he was surprised why I did that , he was not expecting that lol this is what he says. I was about to move from london but he stops me with crazy things , I stayed (stupid me ) after I moved to my friend to the different city , we were still couple until weekend came and I find out he was about to treat on me again by flirting to other girl. I ve asked my friend to call him (becouse of course I new he did some shit that night) just for a joke and he thought it's a girl he met last night .. he told to her im his ex gf so after that when me and 'the girl from last night' start to kick his mind with the words and both were about to cut contact with him , he called first to her .. such a disappointment .. btw that's the worst things he did , I don't want to mention about other things which i forgive to him .. 7 months waisted. he never stop to say he loves me. He wrote for me a song to show me how much he loves me :) that's so redicolous .. I was just laughing and asking myself why I was with such an idiot , now 1 week after all I honestly have no feelings to him, no blamings myself , no values down. Feel just proud I finally finish that chapter. Never again italian rubbish . I'm disgusted .

    ReplyDelete
  90. But isn't that how we all expect them to act! Like Orson Welles said there's 60 million actor in italy and the worst ones are in movies and theatre. If italians cannot act this way what's left? An empty shelf, a human being just as anyone else? They would need new role models, and new role to act, but would it be italy as we maybe wanna know it even today?

    ReplyDelete
  91. OMG, I couldn't believe how honest and true the comments were. I live with an Italian in Australia for 3 years. It was blissfully wonderful in the first 6 months. However things changed over time. Saw red flags but ignored..now I regretted and hated myself for trusting and caring for someone whom I thought I trusted only to be cheated, lied and deceived. He was such a good actor and the deception was deep and painful. He screwed other women behind my back and when confronted he would abuse and humiliate me, making me feel so small and inadequate. This was so true with other writers who had the same experience with Italian men. When they want you, they will go all out to impress and make you feel whole. But as soon as they had their meals they would want more from others. I believe they love experimenting with other women and yes they do treat our bodies like a piece of meat... So disgusting and direspectful. Yes they are not to be
    trusted as they are the biggest con artist I have ever met. So ladies beware
    If you are going to date an Italian or at worst marry them, you have been alluded to the nightmares most of us have faced. It was such a relief to come away from that nightmare. That Italian was like a used car sales a who could even sell their grandmother; he was that smooth and sweet and his inner demons tend to get into first gear so as to achieve their personal selfishness and gratification.

    ReplyDelete
  92. I totally agree with that statement. Italian guys are more likely to cheat than guys in other countries. When I was on my vacation to Italy, I texted with a guy before heading there and then we decided to meet up. We had a great time together. He is charming, handsome and a smooth talker. He complimented me and made me believe that I was the only one in his eyes. at that moment, I definitely thought we felt for each other, and I asked him about his girlfriend. he said no girlfriend or no casual sex partner. I was so stupid to think that we might have something in future. However, when I came back to my city, we still contacted but I think he seemed to loose his interests gradually. he always said that he really likes me and wanna see me again. he even asked me to come back Italy. for me, if he really likes me why doesnt he go for me first? that guy always has excuses that we are living far away and he is so busy at work. Then I found out that he already has a girlfriend in LDR and they are still together. Damn that bastard, I felt really angry because he lied to me in the beginning and I also felt pity for his girlfriend. you should be careful before dating with Italian guys.

    ReplyDelete
  93. I am so sad to hear that my worst fears are in fact so common place. Why is cheating acceptable?
    An Italian man has just broken my heart. After so many conversations in which I tried to establish the truth about his relationship with the mother of his children, I discovered he had completely lied and they are married, still living together and she even works with him in the business that he had at one point offered me a job working for (also a lie). I confronted him, got no response and 2 weeks later, he is currently on a business trip in New York blatantly hooking up with a 27 year old model - and who knows how many other women, not to mention all the others I can see on Instagram. This is so incredibly painful to me. I have very high morals when it comes to marriage, cheating is totally deplorable to me, and I have now unwittingly been made implicit in this man's infidelity and the pain it could have caused his wife, not to mention the pain it has caused me. I can't live with this, with what I have done, I have never, ever wanted just a fling or an affair, and always considered the idea of being the other woman or mistress absolutely mortifying.
    Combined with the confusion of still missing him and the future he (lied about) planning with me, I am so heartbroken and psychologically messed up I've considered suicide.
    He was the first man I had let in my life, into my heart, in the last four years. How could I be so stupid? I believe in love. I believe in family. I don't want to have to live in a world where this kind of behaviour and humiliation is considered normal.

    ReplyDelete
  94. Is there any acceptable form of revenge, or ability to evoke remorse? Is there any way to settle the score, to teach them that this behaviour is immoral and unacceptable? Should I contact his wife? Should I warn the future girlfriends I see him contact on social media?
    Why aren't we doing anything?

    ReplyDelete
  95. I am so sad to hear that my worst fears are in fact so common place. Why is cheating acceptable?
    An Italian man has just broken my heart. After so many conversations in which I tried to establish the truth about his relationship with the mother of his children, I discovered he had completely lied and they are married, still living together and she even works with him in the business that he had at one point offered me a job working for (also a lie). I confronted him, got no response and 2 weeks later, he is currently on a business trip in New York blatantly hooking up with a 27 year old model - and who knows how many other women, not to mention all the others I can see on Instagram. This is so incredibly painful to me. I have very high morals when it comes to marriage, cheating is totally deplorable to me, and I have now unwittingly been made implicit in this man's infidelity and the pain it could have caused his wife, not to mention the pain it has caused me. I can't live with this, with what I have done, I have never, ever wanted just a fling or an affair, and always considered the idea of being the other woman or mistress absolutely mortifying.
    Combined with the confusion of still missing him and the future he (lied about) planning with me, I am so heartbroken and psychologically messed up I've considered suicide.
    He was the first man I had let in my life, into my heart, in the last four years. How could I be so stupid? I believe in love. I believe in family. I don't want to have to live in a world where this kind of behaviour and humiliation is considered normal.

    ReplyDelete
  96. Why are there no consequences? What can we do to hold them accountable? There is no excuse for causing this much pain. Any suggestions for settling the score, making things right?

    ReplyDelete