I will fake it until I make it!

All about the escapades and thoughts of a girl who thinks WAY too much for her own good!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I am not a COUGAR!

I don’t know why this label bothers me so much. Perhaps it's the range of not so complementary definitions that disturb me so greatly. You know, definitions such as:

Cougar - The term is commonly applied to women who are thirty or older and pursue younger men. - Wikipedia

Cougar - An older woman who is primarily attracted to and has sex with significantly younger men - About.com

Cougar - An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or MILF. Cougars are gaining in popularity -- particularly the true hotties -- as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her shit together. - Urban Dictionary

The Urban Dictionary definition I find particularly lovely. “MILF,” “sad and bloated old horn-meister,” “chick with her shit together!” ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

But, hey, maybe I shouldn't feel offended, I mean, according to the Urban Dictionary cougars are gaining in popularity with "young men". WOW, lucky me! Now, on top of all the normal insecurities that come with aging, I can worry about being the prize winning goal of some misguided frat night out!  Yay for me!

I have so many problems with the cougar label I barely know where to begin. First, 30 years does NOT constitute an "older woman!" Notice the age range of the guy isn't specifically mentioned in any of these definitions? That’s SOOO unfair!

My second issue is with the presumption that we women over 30 who have dated significantly younger men actually “pursue” them. When I became single again at the age of 35 most men my age were married. The only available men were “significantly” younger or “significantly” older than I was. I guess that means I could have been an adulterer, a cougar, or a gold digger.

Remind me again what men are called when they date significantly younger women? Oh yeah, they're called MEN!

That doesn’t seem quite fair, now does it? I think we need a catchy little nickname for men. Hmmm… maybe I should go out and find myself a LION? Sure a LION; a Lying, Immature, Obnoxious, Neanderthal.

Oh no, does that seem bitter or unfair? HA! Eat your heart out boys (or should I say Lions!). How do you like it?


9 comments:

  1. OMG... I could not love this post more. As you know, you have echoed my sentiments EXACTLY. I loathe that term more than any other. But LION??? Now that is truly fantastic!!!! Brava!!!!!!

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  2. I like to call older men who go after younger women Peter Pans (a term I was introduced to out here on the west coast) they never want to grow up.

    I just hate the word Cougar because it ruins my game.

    Can someone please pass the 21 year old? This sex life is a little bland.

    P

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  3. Cracks me up that we were talking about this at ET and you wrote about it. Take it as a compliment that younger men find you attractive even before they get to know your charming personality! I don't know about "lion"! I think "men" is the best all around description!

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  4. Yeah, a lot of people say I should take "cougar" as a compliment. What I really hate, I guess, is the presumption that I "pursue" younger men, when in reality I'd love to be with someone my own age.

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  5. Nice work on this one Val!!! Always a pleasure.

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  6. My friend send this to me - great post! I think the worst is that "Cougar" is saying a woman who dates someone younger is PREDATORY ... that horrid. I have the same issue (being 41) that men my age are married or dating someone 26! It happens that the guys who actually ask me out are younger, maybe because they are still available. In any case, like you I am not looking for a younger man, just a good man and if he happens to be older or younger (within reason! :) so be it!

    Good luck to you!

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  7. Thanks for your comment Cobalt. I appreciate it.

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  8. I propose that we use the word cougar for women AND for men ...
    What do you think about this idea ?
    Regards.

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  9. I propose that we use the word cougar for women AND for men ...
    What do you think about this idea ?
    Regards.

    ReplyDelete