I will fake it until I make it!

All about the escapades and thoughts of a girl who thinks WAY too much for her own good!

Monday, January 2, 2012

Bad Dating Karma

Let’s face it; it’s easy to blow people off and to be blown off when you’re dating online. The medium itself provides an easy venue to treat someone as if they are disposable. Don't think a guy is cute in his profile picture? Just don't reply to the introductory email he sent you. Meet for the first date, have a good time, but know he’s not Mr. Right? Don't respond to the text he sent saying he’d like to see you again. Does the guy eat his peas in the most annoying way possible? Don't sweat it, there are 10 new guys waiting in the online queue.

Here's one example of what I mean.  A little while back I met a guy for lunch on a Thursday. I thought he was cute and interesting. He thought I was cute and interesting. We met for dinner the following Monday.  Dinner was great. He walked me home. We made out like the plane was going down.  At his suggestion, we made plans for the following Monday. He left a message for me over the weekend. I returned the message but didn't actually talk to him.  I texted him on Monday morning confirming the date for that night.  He texted me back at 5 PM.  Here's how the text coversation went:

Me: "Good morning. Just confirming for tonight. Looking forward to it."
Him (8 hours later): "Didn't hear from you so I made other plans."
Me: "Huh? I returned your message on Saturday."
Him: "I didn't get it. Frownie face." (He actually spelled out frownie face)
Me: "I'm bummed. I was looking forward to seeing you."
Him: "Yeah, me too"
Me: "Okay, well just let me know if you want to get together again."
Him: ...

By the way, dot, dot, dot means I never heard from him again.  Umm, okay. I guess he didn't think I was so cute or interesting!

Have we become so jaded that we’ve completely forgotten our manners? Have we’ve forgotten there’s a person on the other end of that (insert mobile communication device here). My friend Sherrie calls this “bad dating karma” and is convinced it comes back ten-fold when you treat someone poorly.

Over the years I’ve been both the victimizer and the victim of bad online dating manners, but this time I’ve been diligent about remembering there’s a human on the other side of the equation so hopefully I'm building up some good karma for the future!


  1. I agree with you completely, it will come back around on him. And I also agree that manners are taking an unfortunate backslide these days.

    Problem is that sometimes being honest with someone can also bite you, as you might remember from my experience last year :) He didn't take it well but at least he knew the deal, didn't spend any time wondering if I was trapped under something heavy.

    I'm sure you've got your karma all lined up!

  2. I agree you are good on the karma!! And it will always come around. Tht guy that could not be bothered to talk to you sucks! Sherrie

  3. Hi Val!

    Great post!

    I just wanted to say that your blog gave me the courage to do what I've always wanted to do, but never had the courage to actually do it. I was once on exchange in Italy, and now I'd like to move there, to Rome to be more exact. I thought I couldn't do it due to my family and friends - I could never leave them again! I've read every post you've posted so far, and I just want to thank you. You are so brave, and I admire you for what you have accomplished in life, so thank you, for giving me the courage to start living my life!
    I'm not from the States, I'm actually from Finland, but I feel stuck here as well... I guess there comes a time for everyone when you just have to do something completely different, and I think mine is now.

    I wish all the best for you, and PLEASE, keep posting, I love reading your posts!

    PS I lived in Tuscany 10 years also so I understand your love for it... ;)


  4. I am from Tuscany, although I live somewhere else, and I would date you right away... the things you write are so interesting... I believe you are a rich woman (rich inside), from the things you write and talk about... Date me! Frank. A presto